Monday's update...a day late

I didn't get to this yesterday, but I'm still trying for accountability. So, I thought I'd jot something off quickly while at work this morning.

Here's what I accomplished yesterday.

Academic-related:
1. Met transcriptionist and paid her a lot of money
2. Read through and analyzed/came up with some follow-up questions for 6 interviews.
3. Typed those comments in to 2 of the Word documents (I had made notes on real paper).
4. Read dissertation written by a friend who used the same interview protocol in her research
5. Read a journal article that will ultimately help me figure out how to analyze on-line surveys that I had participants complete.
6. Emailed co-rater to see if she's willing to mentor me a bit more than anticipated in scoring these interviews.

Non-Academic accomplishments:

1. Gave Maranda a ride to school

2. Deposited student loan check

3. Was able to take a break at night to watch Chuck and Big Bang Theory - both great eps btw

So, while I've been doing all this over the weekend, this is what Mark's accomplished. :)
1. Took down all the horrible floral wallpaper in half bathroom.
2. Took out old sink, vanity & toilet.
3. Painted walls and ceiling, which included some spackling and sanding prior to the paint.
4. Started to put down new vinyl tiles.
5. Made several trips to Menards (home improvement store) when he discovered things he needed that he didn't have.

My goals tonight are:
1. Type in comments for 4 other interviews I read.
2. Read 2 additional interviews to analyze and/or add follow-up questions.

I'm tired...

Today's Accomplishments...

Another day at home, another day spent working on dissertation-related stuff. I wrote out some goals for myself yesterday and I accomplished some of them...not all of them. However, I do feel good about what I've gotten done.

Dissertation-related:

1. Pulled all online surveys and printed them.

2. Printed article about analysis of online surveys.

3. Started reading the article above and I will finish it before I go to bed tonight.

4. Finished going through all 4 remaining interviews to take out all identifying information, etc.

5. Emailed someone that hadn't completed the online survey but I couldn't tell until I went in to print it off.

6. Printed off other journal article by someone else who used the same online survey that I got permission to use.

Non-dissertation related:

1. Did 3 loads of laundry

2. Went grocery shopping

3. Took a 30 minute walk outside

4. Cooked dinner

5. Read the newspaper

I'm taking tomorrow off, too. So, I hope to be productive.

My goals for tomorrow are:

1. Give Maranda a ride to school

2. Deposit student loan check

3. Meet transcriptionist to pay her for all the transcribing she did

4. Complete analysis of a minimum of 5 interviews (hopefully, more)

5. Work on analysis of online surveys

6. Read dissertation written by a friend who used the same interview protocol in her research

7. Take a walk or get some sort of exercise

I'll report back tomorrow. :)

What I've accomplished today

In my effort to keep myself accountable, I'm taking a break from my academic work to tell you what I've accomplished today.

Graduate School Related:

1. Completed a draft of a paper to be used toward an Incomplete grade I have in a seminar course.

2. Emailed said paper to my advisor who will grade it.

3. Went through my program of study to determine what course I took instead of one that I haven't taken and won't ever take.

4. Emailed my advisor to ask him to contact Graduate Studies to tell them it's okay that I substituted a different course.

Dissertation Related:

1. Went through online surveys to see who hasn't completed theirs and emailed them reminders. Only 4 people needed reminders.

2. Updated spreadsheet that I have to organize the names of the people who I contacted to ask to participate in my research. Used this to help figure out the above task. Also, used this to identify two people that I still want to try to schedule interviews with.

3. Sent emails those two people mentioned above.

4. Pulled the journal article that tells me how to interpret the online surveys I had students complete.

5. Resumed going through transcribed interviews to take out identifying information and correct any mistakes or fill in the few blanks where the transcriptionist couldn't figure out what we were saying. As of this moment, I've gone through 5. That leaves 7 remaining. I'm going to try to get through as many as possible before going to bed tonight. I'm hoping for all 7, but that may not be realistic.

Non-academic related:

1. Started a roast in the crock pot this morning that we ate for dinner.

2. Read today's newspaper.

3. Did 3 loads of laundry, with a 4th about to go into the dryer.

4. Paid 2 bills online, one of which paid off the credit card.

Goals for tomorrow:

1. Grocery Shopping

2. Finish going through and deleting identifying information from any interviews that I don't get through tonight.

3. Print out article about analyzing online surveys

4. Print out online surveys

5. Begin analysis of interviews. I hope to complete the analysis of at least 5 interviews.

6. Do 2-3 more loads of laundry.

7. Read the newspaper.

Feeling a little better...

Okay, so I'm feeling a little better about my whole dissertation freak-out, but have been completely unproductive all week. I even took today off from work and managed to get some housework done, but nothing done related to the dissertation. And, here I sit writing this instead, too. :) However, I did have several friends offer to help and give me a well-needed pep talk. All that helped quite a bit.

My plan is to make Mark take Maranda to her guitar lessons tomorrow and I'll stay here and get some work done. I hope to get up and get motivated in the morning. It took me forever to even want to move off the couch today. And, since Mark has the whole weekend off, perhaps I can get him to take Maranda and do something for part of the day tomorrow. And, hopefully, he can drive her wherever she needs to go on Sunday, too. I'll spend a little time grocery shopping and doing laundry over the weekend, but I think those things will just work in as breaks through what I'll be working on.

I need to spend my time this weekend focusing on analysis of interviews, which I've been putting off because I'm scared to find out that they all need to have additional questions asked. So, I'll try to work through it (more advice from friends). Also, I've got surveys online that each person completed, so I need to go in and make sure everyone completed them then do the necessary comparisons for them.

Right now, I'm hungry and think I need a snack. :) I'm going to try to report back on my progress tomorrow night. Maybe that will help hold me accountable for getting things done.

Trying not to hyperventilate...

So, I understand from friends that have completed their doctoral work that every dissertation has a major meltdown, freak out, breakdown, whatever you want to call it. And, even though I understand that intellectually, it's not making me feel much better. While you might not realize that I'm freaking out by looking at me, I am definitely freaking out. My stomach has been upset all day, I'm a little nauseous and if I had to have this conversation out loud, I'm pretty sure that I couldn't get it all out without crying. Plus, I've been obsessing about this all day.

My dissertation (research that I planned out myself...perhaps bad planning) requires me to complete 40 interviews with students who are leaders in student organizations. I completed my 40 interviews in November and December. The interview protocol that I'm using has 6-10 words that I need to have the interviewees talk about and then I have to come up with the questions that will get the person to speak meaningfully about how they make meaning of those words and/or situations where these words would describe their perceptions. So, I'm given some structure, the rest I come up with as we talk. While I was doing the interviews, I had some uncertainty about how well I was coming up with questions. I reached out to the researchers that trained me in the protocol and another friend who is a faculty member at another college now, she also used the interview protocol in completing her dissertation. I got no response from any of the three people and I was in the middle of getting these interviews done. I felt like I was getting better as I went through each interview, so I just kept going.

I got all the interviews transcribed, which cost me a total of $2,600 - the standard cost of having someone who knows what they're doing do the job. The turnaround time and the relief of not having to do that myself was totally worth it.

Every third interview needs to have another rater score it with me in order to prove validity in my ability to score the interviews. This means I needed to have about 13 interviews also scored by another rater. I contacted folks at my grad school that have also been trained (I've never met them) and got 2 to agree to help out. I got this email from one of them yesterday,

"I have read the interviews. Based on my training, I am having trouble finding enough structure to accurately and comfortably establishing a rating. I am happy to talk about this if you like. I don't have a lot of experience rating interviews so maybe best to use another rater instead."

I immediately emailed the other person that I provided interviews to and asked if they had the same problem, because I wasn't sure if it was just that person or if it was my interviewing. The other person has had more experience with the interviews and looked over two of the interviews that I had sent the other person and said that indeed they did need some additional information, but that she thought that I could go back and contact these same people to ask some additional questions. She was able to suggest some good follow-up questions. She's got 10 other interviews that I had previously emailed and wanted to know if she should continue to review them. Good feedback, right? Helpful...tried to keep me from freaking out...and I really appreciate it. However...(you heard that coming, right?)...the more I think about it, the more freaked out I get. I'm totally obsessing and feel like I'm going to throw up.

If I have to go back and ask follow-up questions of the rest of these people (approx. 35 students) and get additional responses transcribed prior to moving on with my research, I don't see how I can graduate in May. Again...this doesn't sound like the end of the world, does it? However...(again...you had to see that coming)...my husband has taken the week off in May when graduation will take place and is counting on the fact that we'll need to actually go to graduation (a 10 hour drive from where we live now) and we've paid $2,600 to have interviews transcribed and I don't think I have more money for additional transcribing. I feel a TON of pressure to just get this done. Some of that pressure I put on myself, which I needed to do to kick myself in the butt and really start working on this. But, now I'm feeling like there's additional pressure and I can feel myself wanting to just shut down.

I need to go back through all my transcriptions, analyze them and figure out if I've got the information I need before I have this other rater continue to rate them. At least that was her recommendation. Now, I'm not even sure that I'm going to be scoring them right because I had been thinking that these other interviews had what they need. And, of course, here I am sitting here writing this instead of actually doing something productive to work through this.

Well, it helps a little to put this out there. Although, my stomach still hurts and I'm still nauseous. I'll try to hyperventilate quietly...