This morning I mentioned that sometimes my values conflicted with the Catholic values of my workplace. When I interviewed for this position, I asked a lot of questions about the values of the college and how it “lived” its Catholic identity. I felt like the responses I received indicated that this wasn’t an ordinary Catholic college, but it leaned a little more liberally than most. One of the things I felt supported this was the existence of an LGBTQ ally student organization. For this reason and many others, I took the position.
Throughout the 2+ years I’ve been in my position, I’ve had the opportunity to work with the LGBTQ group and really appreciate the students that work with the organization. The students realize that being at a Catholic college means that many students disagree with the activities that they’re planning and they go the extra mile to make sure that all events are educational and emphasize the Catholic tradition of human dignity. I’ve been impressed by their hard work in this area.
Last year, we hired a new Vice President and through, I think, the process of trying to educate her about the college our Assistant Vice President has mentioned a number of times in a number of places that when the LGBTQ student organization was recognized it was made clear that their purpose was “education not advocacy.” That was 10-12 years ago. This woman says this so often that I wonder what her agenda is with this particular group, but to be fair she’s the only person that was really at the college when the group was recognized and that would have this knowledge.
Since I’ve been there, the LGBTQ group has updated their constitution and included that advocacy is one of their roles on campus. And, this woman knows about it and has said a couple of times how me or someone in my office should be reviewing every single updated constitution that comes into our office and somehow notified this group that their new update didn’t fit with the parameters set when they were originally recognized. Those parameters are not in writing anywhere and there is no other evidence that the conversation occurred, although I’m sure it probably did happen. So, how I was supposed to know this was an issue when they turned in their constitution, I don’t know. Plus, that’s not something we do with any other student organization and I believe it’s unethical to have one rule for this organization that no other organization has.
So, fast forward to last Friday when the president of the organization sent an email to the Vice President asking for permission to put together an outdoor display on campus for Transgender Day of Remembrance this week. Instead of forwarding the information to me (since I’m the one that works with these cases), she forwarded it to the other Vice Presidents of the institution and asked for input about their display because of another display that occurred a couple of weeks ago and upset some students. So, of course, she got all kinds of feedback that wasn’t helpful and then forwarded the information to me and told me to take care of it. And, she specifically told me that I needed to remind them that their purpose was specifically to educate not advocate. So, I composed an email back to the student letting her know what steps she needed to take and included that I needed to tell them about educating not advocating. I mean…she’s my boss’s boss. I need to do what she says. It’s not like I have tenure or something.
I found out today that the president and vice president of the LGBTQ group were upset and went to talk with another staff member in my office about it on Friday because I was in a meeting or something. Part of what is upsetting to me is that I feel very strongly about how important it is for all students to feel accepted on campus and the LGBTQ students on campus don’t often feel accepted in that Catholic environment. And, while I know these students, they don’t know me so well as to automatically know that these are not my personal feelings. Thankfully, I had the opportunity to talk with one of the students this afternoon.
But, here’s what I find most upsetting. When I look up the true definition of advocate, it says that it’s “to speak or write in favor of” or “support or urge by argument.” When I think of the advocacy this group does, it relates to supporting the human dignity of LGBTQ students, speaking in favor of their rights to talk about sexual orientation and to plead the case to be yourself. All of these things I personally support. Who wouldn’t? However, it seems to me that the advocacy that would concern the college is that they must think that the LGBTQ group is speaking in favor of or urging by argument other students to be gay that wouldn’t otherwise be gay. Perhaps, their numbers are down and they need to recruit. Maybe, they’re earning a commission for everyone they convert. One friend jokingly told me today that perhaps they’re trying to earn a toaster for their “sales” incentive. ☺
The Catholic Church has said they are accepting that homosexuality exists, but you shouldn’t act upon it because it is wrong. (Now, my paraphrasing may not have this exactly, but I know it’s the basic gist.) So, the other way the college may be interpreting advocacy tells me that we might be seriously expected to tell students to not live authentically and speak their truth to others. This interpretation is what has me so upset. I mean the first interpretation I provided is just silly…right? But, this one is the one with the most insidious effects. Really…telling 18-22 year-old students who are just getting to know themselves to not live in a way that’s authentic to who they are. It’s hard enough to live authentically at such a young age because you really are just getting to know yourself outside of your parents’ home and have the opportunity to really make yourself into the person you’re going to be. Why would we encourage students to not live the life they are discovering to be their own?
I know I often have strong opinions and I’m the first person to say that people are idiots, but I would never expect someone to live a lie, because I feel that’s the message being sent.
So, now the question is, how do I help this group with the educational display and program that they want to put up and should have the right to display without getting myself fired? This is my project for the next few days and if you have any suggestions, I’d love to hear them.
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